Oh panty hose, how I hate the

I truly want to know what person thought that a torturous device made of nylon and cotton would be a good idea? I'm all about a smooth butt and zero panty lines but come on now. How embarassing are panty hose really? Let's start out with the waist. Control top. Even though it's meant to sound appealing as if it'll "control" the rolls we've managed to stuff in it, it doesn't really live up to it's name. Any time I've worn control top it's just stuffed my "muffin top" up a little higher, creating a puffy confection-like bulge right under the boobs. That's attractive. On to the reinforced toe. When I first saw the sewn in patch of extra layer on the foot I wondered "Now, what type of dinosaur claws do you need to rip out the toe of a pair of panty hose?" Apparently, dinosaur claws are pretty damn common. I actually kind of like the reinforced toe, we'll keep that. Let's get to the real ego booster, the size. I can understand the A and B sizes, I remember I used to fit both sizes some time ago. What comes after B? C, you would think. Nope, it's size Q. What does Q mean? Queen. Greaaaaat.....I went from Adorable to Beautiful, to QUEEN? What is the logic in that? Can't a girl get an in-between? C for Chubby maybe? So, if you've ever been humiliated by the long-time "pull it all in so you can fit into that lovely little skirt" fad of panty hose, you probably know what I mean.....