God really IS good!

Alright, bear with me, I'm gonna get a little preachy here. Have you ever hit a point in your life when it feels like God is coming at you from different angles with the message "You've stayed away from me long enough, it's time to come back now."? Lately I feel like these signs are blinking, neon screaming saying "PAY ATTENTION TO ME!!!!". The things that have been going on in my life just make me realize how good God really is to me (all of us). I recently started back to work (as if you didn't know) at a Christian Adventist hospital. This type of atmosphere is unusual to me. Although I am a Christian, it's as though I've been in the closet for many years. My previous job for 6 years was General Electric Finance. Being it was a very Politically correct business, religion was basically banned from the premise. We couldn't say "Merry Christmas" or "God Bless". Our Christmas trees and decorations were newly named "Holiday decorations". It was like He was "The one who must not be named". At my new job we start every staff meeting with a prayer. Then, we read aloud a religious passage that relates to something in our lives or our work. It's actually really refreshing. With the recent job, and the fact that after being there for a little under a week when they decided to promote me and bring me on permanantly, I feel like God has been aiding me and making me see again how much he helps me. Rylee was sick all last week with a high fever and rash. It made me pray much more and realize how much I take for granted when she's feeling well.

Last week when Rylee was ill she woke up at around 9 pm, hot from her fever. I went in and rocked her for a bit to calm her down thinking "Gosh, I wish she would go to sleep. I'm tired, ready to go to bed, I'm cold and could use a blanket...." I almost rushed her back into the crib so I could attend to MY needs. Really, how unfair was that of me? She wasn't feeling well and all I could think of was what I wanted. After I got my blanket I sat down to my laptop and browsed a few of my friends blogrolls. One came up that totally stopped my heart. This blog, http://audreycaroline.blogspot.com/ is about a wonderful Christian family who found out at 20 weeks pregnant that their sweet daughter Audrey had an enlarged heart and wouldn't make it for long outside the womb. The family had the choice to terminate the pregnancy early to save themselves from heartbreak or to endure the pregnancy and give their daughter the option of living and meeting her for however how brief. I cried as I read how Audrey came into the world with a little squeak, signalling she was alive. Tears streamed down my face when I saw the pictures of the whole family with tiny Audrey, loving and holding her for as long as they could. That brief 2 hours she lived were two hours that family will forever remember, as will I. There I sat absolutely SOBBING, thinking "How selfish am I??!" I don't have any idea what I would do with myself if I didn't have my laughing, smiling little Rylee in my life. How could I live? I realized in that instant how much I take my life for granted. Rylee didn't wake back up that night but if she had, I probably would have slept there that night, rocking her in the chair, holding her tight in my arms. Instead, I got into bed with my red, itchy eyes and prayed. I prayed for the loss of Audrey and all the losses like her. I prayed for the family who believed so much in God that they felt they were CHOSEN to have a child like Audrey. I prayed for all the people I knew who were having problems at the moment. I also prayed to God how grateful I was for what He had given me. I stayed in the closet long enough, it's time now for me to come back out. Out as a Christian. I'm back God, you've let me know loud and clear, it's time to come back.