As some of you read on my Facebook, I was "excited" to have a blind date with someone I met off an internet dating site. I'll admit, internet dating isn't really that fun. I've gone on quite a few dates using it before and I have really met some great people.....and some NOT so great. My time is limited and I don't often get out to meet new people. Internet Dating is the new bar, apparently. Throughout our "talking" this guy seemed pretty normal (in only a way you can know through internet chats, phone calls, and texting). Thursday we made plans to meet and eat a nice restaurant and maybe go bowling with his friends after. Friday afternoon I was getting ready when I got a text from him telling me to meet him at Lowe's parking lot at The Strip (a shopping plaza for all you non-Canton folks). He said he wanted to meet me first to determine if he wanted to go to dinner. He also mentioned it would be good for me to determine if I really wanted to go out with him. In other words- you wanted to make sure my dating profile pics weren't photoshopped and that I didn't weigh 400 lbs, was cross-eyed, or have a goiter. Translation: You're shallow and want to make sure I'm pretty enough to be seen in a public restaurant with me. I got it.
After I thought about how uncomfortable I was about meeting someone in a parking lot and texted him to tell him so. After almost an hour of no answer, I text him again to let him know I haven't left and don't intend to until we agree to meet somewhere less murder possible. He's offended. Don't I have a good enough idea of what type of person he is by the week we've been talking? Ummm....No....I don't. I ask that we meet somewhere more public but still not as committal as a restaurant (God forbid), like Starbucks. The attitude comes out. "I don't like Starbucks so I won't go in. If meeting in that parking lot makes you feel better than I guess that's it. I don't understand why you're making such a big deal about this". I tried for a moment to explain to him about how I'd like to keep my arms, legs, and life in tact and that I'm being a SMART and SAFE woman. Once again he's been offended. Whatever. I say Starbucks or no thanks.
I pull up to meet him and he looks normal enough, actually pretty handsome. I jokingly say "Well, I know you're judging to see if I really do weigh 400 lbs but I hide it quite well". He answers- "No, I can tell by your face structure. I guess we can go to dinner now". This is going to be awesome, I can just tell. We had agreed on the restaurant the day before and it is kind of fancy. I dressed accordingly. He did not. When we got to the booth he mentioned he was dressed a little casually but it wasn't his style to dress up or wear cologne for dates because that's pretentious. He mentioned his T-shirt -from Banana Republic- was how he dressed and that was just him. I smiled and nodded in my perfume and dressy outfit, owning my pretentiousness like a boss. Throughout dinner he mentioned that he's REALLY picky about 40 times, enough to make me become slightly self conscience, as if he assuring me that his possible rejection of me is because I'm not perfect. Yay. Shallow and judgemental, suuuuuper. Conversation went well until he decided to take 3 phone calls at dinner. No, I don't mind. Really. I'll just sit here and chew quietly...praying some of my steak may become lodged in my throat and I might need a trip to the hospital while you attend to "pressing business".
After dinner he asks if I'd like to go bowling with him and his friends. Call me a glutton for punishment but I agreed to play one game. I actually really liked his friends and he seemed to relax in the different setting. His irritation came back though when I beat him by 10 points, his friend's high-fiving me when I got 3 strikes while his face was glued to his iPhone. I'd have to say the rest of bowling really wasn't that bad and quite uneventful. I bowed out after one game and finally called it a night. I was pretty tired from all the pretentiousness I was exuding. Before I left he asked me what I was doing the next day, looking pretty certain he had just wooed me enough to score a second date. I hugged him in the most platonic way (butt out) and told him I was extremely busy the next day. I've got another hot date it seems....with my couch. I think I might stop by the pet store, buy 47 cats and call it a day. Oh, and my Internet dating profile? De-activated.
2 comments:
That story is so funny. I feel bad for how your date turned out but i think beating him in bowling was great! Internet dating sucks. I have met some nice ones but after knowing that is how i met my ex i wont be doing that again anytime soon!
What a douche! Not gonna lie though, that made me laugh a lot and I definetly read the majority of it outloud to Mike. I know I said it before but what a douche!!!
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