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Saturday, February 4, 2012

Why I'd rather become the crazy cat lady........

As some of you read on my Facebook, I was "excited" to have a blind date with someone I met off an internet dating site. I'll admit, internet dating isn't really that fun. I've gone on quite a few dates using it before and I have really met some great people.....and some NOT so great. My time is limited and I don't often get out to meet new people. Internet Dating is the new bar, apparently. Throughout our "talking" this guy seemed pretty normal (in only a way you can know through internet chats, phone calls, and texting). Thursday we made plans to meet and eat a nice restaurant and maybe go bowling with his friends after. Friday afternoon I was getting ready when I got a text from him telling me to meet him at Lowe's parking lot at The Strip (a shopping plaza for all you non-Canton folks). He said he wanted to meet me first to determine if he wanted to go to dinner. He also mentioned it would be good for me to determine if I really wanted to go out with him. In other words- you wanted to make sure my dating profile pics weren't photoshopped and that I didn't weigh 400 lbs, was cross-eyed, or have a goiter. Translation: You're shallow and want to make sure I'm pretty enough to be seen in a public restaurant with me. I got it.

After I thought about how uncomfortable I was about meeting someone in a parking lot and texted him to tell him so. After almost an hour of no answer, I text him again to let him know I haven't left and don't intend to until we agree to meet somewhere less murder possible. He's offended. Don't I have a good enough idea of what type of person he is by the week we've been talking? Ummm....No....I don't. I ask that we meet somewhere more public but still not as committal as a restaurant (God forbid), like Starbucks. The attitude comes out. "I don't like Starbucks so I won't go in. If meeting in that parking lot makes you feel better than I guess that's it. I don't understand why you're making such a big deal about this". I tried for a moment to explain to him about how I'd like to keep my arms, legs, and life in tact and that I'm being a SMART and SAFE woman. Once again he's been offended. Whatever. I say Starbucks or no thanks.

I pull up to meet him and he looks normal enough, actually pretty handsome. I jokingly say "Well, I know you're judging to see if I really do weigh 400 lbs but I hide it quite well". He answers- "No, I can tell by your face structure. I guess we can go to dinner now". This is going to be awesome, I can just tell. We had agreed on the restaurant the day before and it is kind of fancy. I dressed accordingly. He did not. When we got to the booth he mentioned he was dressed a little casually but it wasn't his style to dress up or wear cologne for dates because that's pretentious. He mentioned his T-shirt -from Banana Republic- was how he dressed and that was just him. I smiled and nodded in my perfume and dressy outfit, owning my pretentiousness like a boss. Throughout dinner he mentioned that he's REALLY picky about 40 times, enough to make me become slightly self conscience, as if he assuring me that his possible rejection of me is because I'm not perfect. Yay. Shallow and judgemental, suuuuuper. Conversation went well until he decided to take 3 phone calls at dinner. No, I don't mind. Really. I'll just sit here and chew quietly...praying some of my steak may become lodged in my throat and I might need a trip to the hospital while you attend to "pressing business".

After dinner he asks if I'd like to go bowling with him and his friends. Call me a glutton for punishment but I agreed to play one game. I actually really liked his friends and he seemed to relax in the different setting. His irritation came back though when I beat him by 10 points, his friend's high-fiving me when I got 3 strikes while his face was glued to his iPhone. I'd have to say the rest of bowling really wasn't that bad and quite uneventful. I bowed out after one game and finally called it a night. I was pretty tired from all the pretentiousness I was exuding. Before I left he asked me what I was doing the next day, looking pretty certain he had just wooed me enough to score a second date. I hugged him in the most platonic way (butt out) and told him I was extremely busy the next day. I've got another hot date it seems....with my couch. I think I might stop by the pet store, buy 47 cats and call it a day. Oh, and my Internet dating profile? De-activated.

Monday, March 7, 2011

30 Day Challenge- 15 Interesting Facts


15 things you may or may not know about me......

1. This girl can eat. I love to eat. I LIVE to eat. Food makes me happy. Food can lift my spirits. Food can upset me. Food can revive me. Food makes me fat. I have to moderate how MUCH food I consume or else I will be cast in the recreation of Spaceballs as Pizza The Hut (Raise your hand if you haven't seen that movie....now smack yourself with that hand and go rent it).

2. I hate bare feet. HATE THEM. Not other people's feet, my own. I cannot stand the feeling of stepping on a little piece of dirt or food on the floor. I put on socks the minute I get into the house. During sandal season I bring socks in my purse when I go to someone's house.

3. I have insane hearing. I can hear so well it's not natural. I've had this ability for a very long time but I can hear when a TV is on in another room on mute. I could actually hear my neighbors tv on the other day when I was in the bathroom. When my daughter wakes up and walks on the carpet in her bare feet to come to my room, it wakes me up. I haven't had a night of un-interrupted sleep in years because of it and I'm ready to take a hammer to my ear canal.

4. I have a slight pen obsession. Bold pens at that. Most people like writing with fine point pens but it curdles my blood. My favorite time of year is fall when I can walk through the back-to-school supply aisle. It smells so good. Yeah, this one here is a little nutty.

5. I could eat pizza every single day. My first job at 15 was for Pizza Hut. I ate it for dinner everyday I worked there. I also used to have to pull weeds and dress up as a Macarena Dancing mouse there too but that might be a whole other post....

6. I absolutely will NOT lick a stamp or an envelope. I'll have the heebie jeebie chills the rest of the day. Self-adhesive is a genius product.

7. I'm not really scared of a lot of things....however, I do have a phobia. The Stomach Flu. I have an actual documented phobia and I have had to see someone for it. I'll just put my crazy right out there. It will literally ruin my day if someone I know- even on FB has the stomach flu. I am ridiculous about it. If you do, for my sake, please don't tell me...k, thanks. Any other sickness doesn't bother me at all. You could cough in my face or hug me with measles and I wouldn't care. Tell me you have a stomach ache and I'll turn a bit batty.

8. I am obsessed with Christmas. There is no better time in the year to me. The sounds, the sights, the smells. I love it all. I own about 50+ Christmas movies and probably every Christmas CD (not a lot of the new stuff, I'm talkin Bing, Frank, Nat). I was alone in my obsession until my sweet little girl discovered Christmas. Now the obsession continues.

9. I can go very long times being completely alone....and be fine with it. I don't need to be surrounded by people to be happy. I like going to restaurants by myself as well as shopping and movies. Don't get me wrong, I'm great company when I'm with people but I like to have the time to just be in my head some time.

10. I have ADD. No, really. When I was younger I did terribly in school. I pretty much decided I would have to go far in life using only my looks because I figured I was just an idiot. I couldn't do my homework and paying attention in class was torture. I realized later on that I'm really a smart person but I just couldn't physically pay attention. I got tested and diagnosed for ADD at 22. So many questions answered. I tried a few medications but I couldn't find one that meshed well. I'm not on any medication now but I would bet my bottom dollar I would have been a stellar student in school had I been on some. It's nice to know I'm not really an idiot.....sometimes.

11. I am a huge carnivore but I will not eat meat that used to be a cute animal. Cows? Chickens? Pigs? - Not cute. Lamb? Calf? Deer? - Cute. My best friend from Ohio and her husband are always trying to sneak Deer meat in my food. I can taste it and will be mad about it.

12. I had no idea how to cook when I went out on my own. I knew how to make basics like spaghetti and breakfast (thanks Dad!) but everything else I was pretty clueless about. I started reading cookbooks and trying things out on my own and realized I'm pretty darn good at it! Now I love to cook but it poses a problem because I HATE to do dishes. My next husband will be a cleaning fanatic and I'll just make him love me by cooking fantastic things for him, lol.

13. My toenails are weird. Each one grown in like a half circle. I have perpetual ingrown toenails. I've asked about getting them removed and starting over and the Dr. told me that's how my nailbeds are and it will just grow back that way. No, I'm not going to show you.

14. I love the sound of mens shoes walking on pavement. Like in movies when there's a guy walking in an empty alley, I LOVE that sound.

15. I'm pretty sure I was either conceived in the rain or born in it. I am happier when it's thundering and pouring down than a regular sunny day. As a kid I would get all charged up when they would come and spend a good hour outside beforehand running around the yard doing an indian rain dance. I'm pretty sure the neighbors thought I was mentally challenged.

Any other questions for me?

A picture vignette......



The older my child gets, the harder it seems to be to get her to do 3 simple things.

1. Look at the camera.
2. Smile pretty for the camera.
3. Do both at the same time.

I think I'm already speaking in "Peanuts" adult talk and this is how it sounds:



1. "Rylee, see the camera? Under NO circumstances should you look at it. No, Don't, your eye will fall out and you'll have to clean it with soap before you can put it back in!".



2. "Please find the weirdest most creepy face and make that.....over and over again. Oh wait, that zombie face you do where you stare and your mouth hangs open? Yeah, that one.....do that. Perfect"



3. "Eh, do what you want, I'm only here holding the camera taking 423 pictures to get ONE perfect shot because I looooooove doing it. To heck with all the people who think I look weird crouching down by the cars and forcing my daughter for a pic".

Oh yay! She smiled!!! She was looking at the camera too, it's going to be the perfect shot I JUST KNOW IT!!!!!


Crap.

I zoomed in too close on accident. Mommy Fail. Dang, get mommy some Crest Whitestrips stat and tell her to back away from the coffee and red wine.

Sunday, February 28, 2010

My Internet Debut....

Other than crafting and trying not to lose my mind from raising a very strong-willed two-year-old I also happen to really like music. I've been singing for as long as I can remember and it used to be a part of who I was. I started playing the guitar about 8 years ago and although it's enough to accompany me in a song, I'm not really that good. On Facebook I've had a lot of people request I start recording and posting some songs. I finally mustered enough courage yesterday to do just that. I got a great response from that and people are actually wanting me to do more! I figured I would see if my bloggy friends would also give me their opinion! I have to be somewhat quiet when I record or I'll wake up the sleeping banshee. It does nothing for my videos to have a little blonde haired hellion (probably naked) to run around and try with all her might to get into the video and "help" me play the guitar. So here it is, enjoy (I hope, lol).
video

Friday, January 29, 2010

And you thought it was a Teapot......


A purple teapot. Innocent. You imagine a small, adorable little girl serving herself imaginary tea. A few scones on the side, her little stuffed animal friends included in her imaginary meal.

Not my child.

This is not a teapot to my daughter.


It's a Neti-pot. Proof that Mommy needs a little more privacy. Imagine my surprise when I hear her sputtering and coughing in the bathtub. I run in to see if she's OK and find her with her teapot up to her nose full of water. Everytime she does it she coughs, sputters, sneezes, and.....does it again.

I love this kid.

P.S. If you don't know what a Neti-Pot is, it's a ceramic pot you fill with a saline solution to clean out your nasal pasages. It sounds terribly gross but it's great for allergies, sinus infections and just to keep a clean nasal passage! When the H1N1 was running rampant, a Dr. said that it helps to clean out the nasal passages to keep germs from adhering. Given my Germy OCD tendencies, I was doing it pretty often. Obviously.

Friday, January 15, 2010

New felt food!


Ok, I didn't realize how much I would actually enjoy creating felt food! It's so fun to try to make something look real from a bit of fabric, stuffing and thread! I've gotten some really good feedback on my items and have decided to open an Etsy store for it! I had a quite a few Christmas orders so my stock is depleted. Once I have a little more time I'm going to sew up a bunch of it and finally stock my store! Once it's opened, the name will be FuzzyFare :) Please don't mind my terrible photo taking skills. Once I get some more merchandise, my friend who's a professional photographer is going to help me out.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Mod Podged Light Plates




After painting Rylee's room Pepto Pink, I took a look around her room to see if I could improve anything before I finished. The blaring off-white light switch covers called out to me for a change. Instead of painting them, I decided to try my hand at something else. Using Mod Podge and Scrapbook paper, I covered the ugly off-white plates and...voila, perfectly girly and fun Mod Podged Light Plates!

Here are the steps on how to do it.

First, start out with a normal, boring plate. Put it face down on the front of your scrapbook paper. Using a pen or pencil, trace the shape of the plate on the paper. Including inside the little rectangles for the switches.


Next, using an exacto knife or pointy scissors, cut out all the squares.


Use a plain paintbrush and apply a thin coat of Mod Podge to the front of the faceplate. Wait 1 to 2 minutes for it to dry tacky. Next, paint another thin coat on the back of the cut scrapbook paper. The two coates enable the adhesive to work and help to get it to stick better. As soon as you place it on the plate start smoothing with your fingers to eliminate bubbles. The first try of this I didn't add that first coat to the plate and I had bubbles EVERYWHERE! Smooth, smooth and smooth some more. If you need to, use a flat backed object (I used a baby spoon) to smooth any errant bubbles.

Once this has dried (about 5-10 minutes depending on how thick you applied the Mod Podge) you can start finished up the sides. You can use an emery board or fine grit sandpaper to sand the edges to fit perfectly. I actually cut mine a little bigger to be able to fold down on the curve of the plate. Once you're done sanding the edges make sure all shavings are off the plate.

Next, apply a thin coat of Mod Podge to the front of the plate. It'll look really streaky, that's ok. The trick with Mod Podge is kind of like Eyeshadow. You can always add more. Once that layer dries, do another, and another if needed. Make sure you catch all the corners and edges to stay put. Allow it to dry completely.

Finally, put it up to the holes in the wall made previously. You can see where they are through the paper. Use your screwdriver to put the screws in and that's it! A completely covered Light plate! I ended up cutting mind wonky and will probably do this one again but for now, I doubt my daughter will notice ;)